Something Borrowed :: Making a Difference

So, for my something borrowed, this week I am going to talk about something other than photography.

I'm going to talk about making a difference.

Tonight was an incredibly insightful night.  I had no idea that while making cous cous salad and watching the clock in anticipation of spending the evening with my bestie that things were going to take a turn in my way of thinking.   I thought that I'd get to her house, we'd eat dinner, watch The Vampire Diaries and gush over how cute the actors are.

Instead, she prayed at dinner. This is nothing new for her - but her prayers included a family that I hadn't heard of. We were joking prior to the prayer because I don't pray - and those jokes are something that I will think twice about in the future.

The family she mentioned lost their son two days ago.

He was 5.

His 20 year old sister was driving them home from the park after a photo shoot.

They were struck by a drunk driver.

It was his fourth offence.

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My son is 5.

I choked back my tears and tried to keep myself together.  And then everything hit me, and became relevant. Every conversation we had that evening became relevant to each other.

First we talked about the mentality of folks around here.  I say that because I'm not from around here. And ever since I moved here, and spent several years bartending here - I know that people are ashamed of admitting when they've had too much to drink.  Not only that - but they are ashamed to accept either a ride from someone sober or to leave their car in the bar parking lot and take a cab.

This is not a personal thing.  This is not something that only one or two people feel.  This is a mentality that has been passed on.  This is a shared belief system among comrades. This is a cultural thing. This is Kenosha.  I am not - NOT - saying that everyone here thinks this way. I'm just saying that I have met - first hand - my share of people that do think this way. The sad thing is - the man driving the car that took that poor boy's life probably believed that he would make it home just fine because he has done it 100 times before, but only been caught a few times. What are the odds he'd be caught again? It's worth the risk.  NEVER did it cross his or anyone else's mind that there is a possibility he would kill a 5 year old boy at 6:00 in the evening. This is a mentality. This is what needs to change.

The conversation evolved into parenting styles and how we are trying to get more exercise in our family. As parents, we must show our children a healthy lifestyle in order to expect them to live a healthy lifestyle. Making that difference in our own lives, however, is extremely difficult.  But how can you expect your child to value the benefits of a good run if you yourself won't do it?

Relevance. ----  Don't drink and drive.  Teach your children it's not acceptable.

Later we were discussing financial stability.  How our grandparents lived extremely modest lives in order to prepare for retirement. How they used to teach their children values. They would communicate - WITH WORDS - how to treat people, how to raise a family and how to earn an honest living. They lived through hard times and knew what it felt like to be without. 

Our parent's generation lived in a free spirited era. Some took what their parents taught them to heart - some didn't. Some of us are fortunate enough to have learned from both our grandparents as well as our parents how to live an honest life.  What is smart and what is fickle.

Unfortunately we live in a world where we are lazy. Where computers and drive through banks prevent us from making human contact.  From valuing the lives around us. From appreciating life in general.  And what is life without connection?  We have learned that this is how it is.

My husband and I want to step into another business opportunity. Financially, it's a risk. We are surrounded by people who could make the risk without batting an eyelash.  Because they are of the generation before us.  The ones who made smart choices.  I told my husband the other day how stupid we are.  I didn't really mean it, of course - we think that we make pretty smart choices - but we can always be smarter.  Recognizing this is what I believe makes me a smart person. It makes me realize, that I can make a difference. No matter what stage of my life I'm in. I can change and make a change.

I can talk to my kids about it.

I can teach them about money. About smart choices. About making a difference.

Relevance.....  Don't drink and drive.  Teach your children that it's not acceptable.

You can make a difference.  You can live by example.  You can talk to your kids, your friends, your family, your family's friends.  It doesn't have to be this way. It doesn't have to be acceptable.

My heart breaks for the McCollum family.